I guess I've always kept my work downplayed as a side job to being a mom, since having children.

 I have always been a writer as well, but mostly did that for the joy and art of it. Although taking courses in writing and journalism In college, I never made a career of it.

I went to beauty school under the pretense that, hey, everyone will always need a haircut, so in that sense I will always be able to find work. Which has shown very true, but not as fruitful as I would have hoped, I suppose.

I think for a great portion of our lives we are only capable to do and get as far as what we have been taught by our parents and peers, and I think my odd job and home maker mother never instilled fully the importance of making a career and living for myself, as she still never has done that herself. My business owning (ex)step father, although taught me responsibility, never emphasized the importance of that for myself either. He more bragged about his achievements and gave a lot of hand outs.

During this pandemic situation, as well as being in the midst of having a newborn and a soon to be 10 year old child, and some failed relationships and crappy fathers to go along with it-

Here I am, 34 years old, single mom of 2, now just realizing the importance to a baseline career. 

I always felt I was pretty talented and very hard worker, and gem of a woman for any man to be lucky enough to have. But for some reason I've always got stiffed at jobs and in life in general. People don't particularly like the honest hard worker, I suppose. I'm a very no B.S. type of person. 

So when life gives you shorthandings and a black sheep stigma in your family, its hard to find the confidence to keep going and feel your worth in life. 

So that is the road I have traveled thus far.

I think what has sparked this fire in me to achieve what I always wanted to, is the utter despair of this pandemic situation, as well as my recent completely freebirth/home birth of my last baby.

Luckily he was born just before this crazy coronavirus started, but it has been pretty stressful until recently. 

I know all my fellow wedding vendors are feeling it as well, since this all started just as our high season of work started here in Dominican Republic.

AND ALL THE WEDDINGS WERE CANCELLED.

We have many reschedules for winter, but who really knows whats going to happen.

So here I am, recently having made a real business website, and finally now starting my blog.

I hope you all are staying safe, and mentally stable during all this. 

Know that you are not alone in the feeling of pure despair and depression that it brings at times. 

Lets pick ourselves up, and accomplish the goals that we have always dreamed of, because what other option do we have right now?

And what better time to be motivated!

I look forward to sharing more of my adventures of island campo life, and life in general as a black sheep single child, a mother, birthmom, freebirther, a beautician, wedding vendor, and human in this weird world we live in.

Bless you all, and thanks for reading.